by Gwendolyn J. Bean
She sat by the dry riverbed, her finger tapping nervously as she watched the tiny trickle of water float by. She’d been waiting for the rain for so long, growing more and more anxious. Everyone at camp was nervous.
Ever since the seasons had disappeared, a new anxiety had set in. It was the unpredictableness, really. They hadn’t realized how much of life, of everything, had been structured around the seasons. Maybe this is what it had always felt like at the equator, she thought. But her people, in the north, had never had to face it before, had never had to count the days since the last rain.
She didn’t need to count, though. She could feel it, like her insides had rings that kept track, rings made from drought. There were only a few others that could feel the rain. Zee was trying to learn, trying to feel what she felt. She didn’t think it was a thing you could learn, but she was trying to help her anyway. It couldn’t hurt, and besides, the trying was fun. Even if Zee didn’t quite feel things as deeply, that was ok. Her hand wandered between her legs, rubbing casually as she thought. She could feel the pulse of her clit – the pulse she always felt this close to water. If Zee could learn ... She closed her eyes as the pulse grew stronger, feeling like an aching emptiness.
“Solene?” Zee walked up, “have you decided yet?”
She jumped. “I – no, I was just…” She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure.”
She hated saying that to her friend. Seeing how disappointed she looked.
“If it’s no, just tell me, ’kay?”
Solene nodded, not making eye contact. She could feel Zee’s eyes on her, but she didn’t look up until she heard her walk back to camp. She new it was time to set out. She had felt it for a while now. The flow of the river was getting smaller. It was still enough for everyone at the camp, but it was getting smaller every day. Everyone was a little on edge, waiting for her to make the decision. She knew she needed to go, and she was prepared, in a way. It was just – what Zee was asking… Solene liked the idea of having company for sure, but, she needed to think.
Without the rain, it was getting so hard to think.
The last time they’d practiced Zee said she was starting to feel it, so maybe it would be ok. But Solene was worried. What if she was wrong? What if Zee came with her, and she couldn’t feel it? On the other hand, if Zee could then maybe it would be better than going alone. The others were too old for the trek, and going alone was a scary prospect. If something happened to her ... She needed Zee. She was decided. It didn’t make sense to go alone, and no one else could do it. Why couldn’t she be there? Just because it had never been done that way didn’t mean it couldn’t be. Right?
When she told Zee they could go together, Zee jumped out of her seat. Solene could feel Zee vibrating with energy the whole rest of the night as they made their plans and packed up their things. She giggled. It was so nice to make Zee this happy.
Solene was excited, too. But nervous. She’d only made the journey once before when she was young, and that time, her mother and the others were there to take care of her. She hadn’t really had to do anything. She remembered the happiness, the thrill of dancing in the rain when it finally came, celebrating and rushing home to everyone. She’d felt like a hero. When they got back to camp, everyone was so happy. The whole camp stayed up late, letting the rain soak their bodies. It would be so good to bring that home, to do it again, for real, herself this time…
That night at the camp – Solene and Zee’s last night before they set out – there was a huge meal full of everything delicious. “To fatten you for the journey,” Solene’s mother told them, laughing.
Solene could tell her mom was proud of her for going. The camp had been waiting for her to go, but it had to be Solene’s decision, no one could tell her to go. She could only go when she felt the pull.
But when she approached her mother to say it was time for her to make the journey, everyone was so relieved. They weren’t as sure about Zee going with her, but no one said anything. It was unusual, but it was Solene’s decision. By dinner, the whole camp was feeling excited, and everyone ate and danced late into the night, long after Solene and Zee had snuck off to bed.
They set off in the morning, their packs heavy with everything they would need: clothes, dried foods, a knife, and a fire starter. Water they would find along the way, following the trickle of the river all the way to the waterfall. And they would build a shelter each night, just a simple thatched tent made of branches. They didn’t have much more than that at the camp, but still, it felt scary to leave with only what they could carry on their backs.
Zee didn’t seem nervous at all, and Solene was so glad for her friend’s company. Zee had always been the solid one, quiet and practical. The opposite of Solene, who was impulsive and fast, always distracted by something. She slid her hand into Zee’s as they walked through the forest and felt her heart speed up. Zee smiled at her, blushing.
They walked quietly and uneventfully for hours, before finally stopping for the night. They’d walked long enough for Solene to have three new blisters. So long that the scenery had changed from deciduous to coniferous. She didn’t know how many kilometers that was, but they’d been going up the whole time and there was a chill in the air they didn’t have back at home. She didn’t think they could be at the base camp juncture in just one day, but the change made her feel hopeful. They’d gotten far. That was a good sign, right?
The river was still just a tiny stream snaking through the wide riverbed that wound around the mountain, but it was enough. They made dinner, leeks from the forest, dried rabbit from home, and a mint tea. After they had rested and eaten, and the sky darkened to a beautiful starry black, Solene began to relax. She leaned over to her friend, who was staring up at the stars, and pressed her lips to Zee’s. Zee smiled and pulled her in close, and they sat silently for a while.
“What does it feel like?” Zee asked her.
“The rain? It feels – it’s different every time. Before the rain comes, it usually feels like …” She struggled to find the right words. “It feels like shooting stars, kind of going from one end of me to the other, like there’s too much energy inside me and it has no where to go. But then when it comes, it changes. When the rain comes, it gets warm. Like I’m feeling the rain on the inside, like it’s hitting me from the inside out …”
“Inside out?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like when everyone else feels the rain, it’s just an object like everything else, on the outside – something you can touch. But for me, the rain is, I don’t know, like a person, and I can feel it’s energy inside me.” She looked at Zee to see if she was making any sense.
“Maybe … we could practice?” Zee said softly. Solene could tell she was nervous to ask. She knew Zee didn’t want to remind Solene that she couldn’t feel it yet.
“Yes,” she said, smiling at her. “We should practice.” Solene rolled on top of her friend, kissing her and grinding her crotch gently into Zee’s hip. Zee responded, sliding her hands down Solene’s back, down over the curve of her ass cheeks, and pulled Solene into her, hard. Solene moaned, starting to get distracted, but then pulled back.
“Take off your clothes,” she said, standing abruptly.
[to be continued...]
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